Meet Lexi Garr
One defining moment in my life that helped shape me into who I am today was my parents divorce that occurred right before my freshman year, when I was fourteen. They never showed much affection towards each other, it was almost as if they were just friends raising two kids. My parents also rarely got along, not in the type of way you would expect a married couple to get along, As I grew older, I began to understand more of why that was, which was mainly due to their personalities being the exact opposite of the others in each and every way. Plus, they only knew each other for a few months before they became engaged. The two years before they divorced they would fight and almost always be separated in some sort of way. Their fighting exponentially grew during that last year, and they acted as if me and my sister didn’t even notice it. Whenever the entire family would be home there was this somber mood within the house. No matter what room you entered, there was this heavy set of sadness in the air, one that you couldn’t escape.
The only times I can remember the atmosphere in the house not being depressing was when only one of my parents was home. That’s why when they said they were getting a divorce neither me nor my sister was very surprised. One reason why they told me they stayed married so long was “for the kids.” Yes, in a perfect situation the children want their parents to be together, but when these parents are depressed and angry whenever they are together, all the child wants is for their parents to be happy, even if that means in separate houses. At first the divorce was rough and strange because we weren’t used to switching households, but after a few months it wasn’t a problem. Both of my parents seemed a lot happier not too long after the divorce, it was almost as if our past life didn’t even exist. This event opened my eyes to the realization that people need to take care of themselves first in order to care for the ones they love. If my parents never divorced, and stayed together solely to protect me and my sister, then they would be overwhelmingly miserable, which would only cause the entire family to be unhappy.
Additionally, this chapter of my life helped me form a habit of navigating the positives in unfortunate situations. Because I focused on my parents happiness when the divorce took place, I never became too upset about them splitting up. Currently, one of my main coping tactics is to recognize each and every positive outcome, no matter how insignificant, within the upsetting moments in my life. By putting most of my attention on these positive aspects, it allows me to accept the situation for what it is, and learn from all of the consequences that resulted from the event. This method has tremendously helped shape my character into the optimistic version of myself today and has allowed me to help others be more optimistic.